Birth Story: God’s Perfect Plan

My birth plan was perfect. I’d go into labor naturally at home because that is what I had been preparing my body for. I would use breathing techniques and hypnobirthing to manage the different stages of labor. I would then go to the hospital after I was at least 4-5 cms dilated (so I could avoid being sent back home) and reached active labor. Upon arriving at the hospital, I would continue a completely unmedicated labor and have my redemptive VBAC.

But here is what really happened. I went a few days past my due date, so I agreed to go in to be induced on July 6th. I arrived and was greeted by the most amazing team of nurses and doctors. I stood firm in my desires and shared my birth plan with each medical professional assigned. We discussed the risks of attempting a VBAC after two C-Sections. There was a 3% risk of my uterus rupturing due to two previous incisions. We then discussed what it would look like if that happened, and my doctor explained that it would result in an emergency C-section, in which I would have to be out to sleep if I did not get an epidural ahead of time. We felt that because the chances of that happening were so low, we were comfortable moving forward with attempting a VBAC. They were, to my surprise, all supportive and encouraging. I felt comfortable staying and proceeding with being induced, so about an hour later, we started the process of induction, and contractions quickly began. It was uncomfortable, but we did what we had practiced and planned for: deep breathing and counterpressure through each contraction.

By 10 am the next morning, I had progressed to 3.5 centimeters, just as my doctor wanted me to, so it was time to move forward. I was able to get up, shower, take photos, and by 12:30, we started 4 units of Pitocin. Things progressed quickly from there, and counterpressure as pain management was no longer effective. I did my best breathing through each contraction, but I reached a point where I just wanted to labor peacefully, so I requested an epidural (and to God be the glory that I decided to do this). I was able to receive my epidural at 3:15 and was able to relax with my husband and doula. We found out about 5 minutes later that from the time I received Pitocin that I had progressed to 6cms and 90% effaced. So, we were making great progress! At this point, my water bag was bulging, and we discussed breaking my water. So we gave it some time and decided to break my water at 4 pm. I was able to rest and watch a movie for about an hour until we realized that the baby’s heart rate was dipping with each contraction. My doctor and nurses helped me change positions a few times to see if that made any difference, but nothing seemed to be helping. At this point, at about 6:15 pm, my nurse decided to do a cervical check and saw that I was 8.5 centimeters dilated, which was great, but we couldn’t get the baby’s heart rate stable.

My doctor’s face went from enthusiastic and full of hope just a few hours earlier to worried and unsure. The discussion of a C-section was back on the table. I felt myself becoming discouraged, but nothing had been decided yet. I remember as we were talking, my contractions were back-to-back. It seemed like there were no breaks in between. Then I felt something strange; as each contraction came, I felt a bulge at the top of my stomach. I asked what was happening, and the nurse said it could be that the baby was in a ball. I thought that was odd because the baby was so low and the bulge was at the top of my stomach. We proceeded to discuss my options as each contraction progressed. I felt an overwhelming feeling of panic, and my doula asked that the doctors leave for a moment so we could pray about it (what an absolute angel God sent me).

We prayed, we discussed what the number one goal was, getting the baby here safely, and for me to be safe as well. We invited the doctor and nurses back in and said, “Let’s get this baby out”. I didn’t know then how much that sentence would impact my life. We headed to the operating room at 6:45. The surgeons began operating, and shortly after, my doula and husband heard “glass thin” and saw additional staff come over to my side. What none of us realized was that my uterus was in the shape of an hourglass and window clear. It was 1cm away from rupturing. This meant that if I proceeded with my birth plan, my uterus would have ruptured, and it would have become an emergency. But glory to God for allowing me to have wisdom over having my way. His grace through the Holy Spirit saved us, and baby boy was born, happy and perfectly healthy at 7:18 pm, weighing 7lbs, 13 oz.

God’s plan was more perfect than anything I could have desired. He allowed me to have my way and experience an unmedicated labor, but He also had His way and made sure we were kept safe and covered. I didn’t understand it then, and I didn’t even understand it weeks after delivering. I was discouraged and confused. But God had grace towards me and helped me see what He was protecting me from. During that time of discouragement, I spoke with one of my closest friends about how I was feeling. Midway through my venting, I paused and said, “Oh my Lord, I never invited God into my plans!” I realized in that moment I’d never asked God what He wanted my birth to look like. I just requested (more like told) God what I wanted to happen and went with it, expecting Him to go along with it. And because He is so gracious, He allowed parts of my desire to take place, but He is such a great father for not letting me have my way. He also graciously gave me a beautiful sign that He was with me and covering us during my labor and birth. When we arrived at our room post delivery, we were greeted with the most beautiful rainbow as the sunset. The most amazing thing about it was that it hovered outside of our room for 30 minutes. I’ve never seen a rainbow last that long, but I truly believe it was a gift from above.

During this time of reflection, I also realized how much I allowed other people's birthing experiences (which were so inspiring and beautiful), along with social media, to affect my birthing desires. Social media tells you that “we are made to do this,” and makes natural birth seem to be superior to medicated birth. At times, I’ve seen content that discourages anything outside of natural, unmedicated birth. I am here to encourage you to seek the Lord for your birth plan. He is the creator, He knows you and what your body can handle over anyone's opinion or idea of what is the right way to give birth.

My greatest advice to give to anyone preparing for birth is to include God in every aspect! He is the one who so deeply cares for you and your baby, so He is the one who should be leading your journey of birth. He knows the plans that He has for you and will always lead you in the direction that will best protect you and your baby. Trust His plan over your desires