Growth in Discomfort: A Season of Releasing Control and Walking in Faith
My prayers lately have started with, "Lord, I am so uncomfortable, uncertain, and confused." These feelings are definitely valid in this season of life, and I know the Lord understands them. As I write this sentence in my journal day after day, it is always followed by, "But I know this is where you desire me to be, because this is where you can move freely in my life without me getting in the way."
I am someone who notoriously tries to take control, figure it all out, and problem-solve. God has been showing me through my actions how tiring and exhausting that can be. Although there is discomfort, uncertainty, and confusion when surrendering and releasing control over things that were never meant for me to figure out, there is also this beautiful sense of peace that God gives me.
This season also has presented a lot of situations where God is encouraging me to step out of being a baby Christian and walk in a more mature level of faith with decision-making. Maturing in my faith means recognizing that He trusts me to move in faith without needing to know every single detail, you know that Abraham type of faith. Abraham moved in faith and God spoke to him throughout his journey. God didn’t give him a map, but gave him a promise and that was enough for Abraham to move. I mean this sounds great and I’d love to have the faith of Abraham, but it is also terrifying, especially for someone who always wants to make "the right choice" and has trouble making decisions.
I want to share my analogy of how I believe God desires me to mature in my faith. One day my 8-year-old and I are in Target and he finds two things that he likes. First, he asks if he can have one and my response is yes, but I tell him he has to choose which one. He looks at both items and then looks back at me. He says which do you think is better, I don't know which one is better. I tell him both choices are good, and that he will enjoy either one he picks. Throughout our entire Target trip, he continues to struggle with the "right choice" to the point where he gets so confused and frustrated that he can't decide and leaves with nothing.
My second analogy is similar but has more to do with stepping out in faith. Again, my 8-year-old and I are in Target (we love Target). He wants to grab an item that he can see from a distance, so I tell him that it is okay to go grab it reassuring him that my eyes won't leave him and I will be watching him the entire time. He looks at me hesitantly and says "Can you just come with me?" He is used to me holding his hand and walking with him, but because he is growing and reaching a new level of maturity I respond by reassuring him that he is okay, I will not take my eyes off of him and he can go grab it. He was afraid of going on his own even though as a parent I knew I would let nothing happen to him and I would never take my eyes off of him.
I believe this is where I am in this season with God! He desires me to walk in a level of spiritual maturity that I can feel confident in His truth told in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He wants me to know that sometimes he has multiple "right choices" in a given situation that are all within His will and I just have to pick one.
He also desires me to walk boldly in the truth written in Deuteronomy 31:8 "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” He wants me to have peace knowing that wherever He leads me, He is already prepared the way and I don't have to fear anything ahead of me.
This season is all about releasing things I can't control to God even though it is uncomfortable and uneasy and taking control over the things He has empowered me to do in faith. It has not been easy, but I know that He always is with me and for me and that gives me the peace and confidence I need to walk through this season with a new level of faith.
Prayer:
God, I bring forth anyone who may be in a season of releasing control, surrender, or decision-making. Please give them the peace, courage, strength, and confidence to follow your lead in whatever capacity you require of them. Please reassure them that the plans you have for them in this season and beyond are for their good and not to harm them. Open their hearts to hear and receive from you in a new way and allow them to move forward boldly in faith.
In Jesus name, Amen.
